thirty before thirty

choosing joie de vivre

How I’ll be spending the last year of my twenties/the most glorious to-do list you’ve ever seen:

  1. Travel somewhere solo A tentative, hopeful goal. Ideas for where/when/how are welcome!
  1. Make pasta from scratch I’ve always wanted to try this and have been a little intimidated by the process…but since my family’s trip to Italy has been pushed twice now, I’m bringing Italy home to us. We’re all due for some quality pasta!
  1. Keep a gratitude journal I’m convinced that gratitude is the key to happiness and want to get better at cultivating a habit of thankfulness! This is the one I got, but this was a close runner-up.
  1. Go on at least five dates I’d like to not die alone, but I also have a hard time leaving my house. Set me up with your brother, k? (but only if he’s cool)
  1. Try kickboxing I’ve always wanted to try this and think I might like it. Seems like a great and kind of bad-ass way to relieve stress.
  1. Make money writing Time to become a multiple-streams-of-income type of lady! I’ve been working on a little freelance website, so we’re on the right track. 
  1. Have a personal photoshoot A lot of people recommended this as a bucket-list idea. I’m looking forward to awkwardly prancing through a field of weeds during golden hour.
  1. Go camping I’ve never been! It’s time I learned how to sleep in the woods.
  1. Invest in stocks Your multiple-streams-of-income gal is also going to become someone with a “diverse portfolio.” My dad gave me money to put towards this last Christmas and I went and adopted a dog instead. Still an investment, sort of? But now I owe some $$ to eTrade.
  1. Meet my godbaby Thanks to COVID there is a bebe in Oklahoma that I’ve never met and will probably be closer to a toddler by the time I finally do. We’re feeling optimistic about the spring!
  1. Volunteer Sometimes nursing feels like enough community service for a thousand lifetimes, but I do get paid for that. Altruism, here I come.
  1. Do Karaoke Shocking, since I live in basically the drunkest party town in the country, but I’ve never tried karaoke! It scares me but I CAN DO HARD THINGS and that now includes singing to a roomful of strangers. 
  1. Take an Irish dance class I danced for a few years way way back in the day. I totally loved it, so I’m going to do a somewhat scary thing and see if my now-creaky knees (and hips and back and neck etc.) can handle it! 
  1. Learn a new song on the piano Similarly, I took piano lessons as a kiddo. I hated it then, but now appreciate the right-brain development it probably gave me. Hopefully I’ll enjoy it this time around.
  1. Learn to make wine This doesn’t need an explanation. 
  1. Go to the Bluebird Cafe Something I’ve been wanting to do since I moved to Nashville three years ago! 
  1. Go to a happy hour/eat out alone The thought of mingling with strangers makes me uncomfortable already, so I added it to the list. Conquering fears and all that. Maybe it’ll help me out with #4. 
  1. Go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show I sort of hate watching this movie and I don’t think I’ve ever finished it, but one of my sisters is obsessed and it seems like it’d be a cool thing to see live. I’m planning to wear fishnets, so that’ll be fun.
  1. Teach the dog to stop jumping on everything/everyone One of his many issues. I’m setting attainable goals, ok?
  1. Improve Spanish with Babbel I wish I hadn’t lost all my Spanish skills and could say more than ‘hola’ and ‘dolor’ to patients at work. Feels like a good-human thing to try and do.
  1. Stop checking my phone first and last thing every day (get a clock) A habit that I’m sure is making my life worse. There’s really no reason I should be falling asleep to dance videos on TikTok. I’m an adult.
  1. Learn to make pierogi My family has been eating Mrs. Ts for Christmas every year for as long as I can remember. Time to try the OG way!
  1. Try a pole dancing class I watched this video and was inspired. Looks incredibly hard and possibly empowering (if you can figure out how to do it). 
  1. Do a Hot Ones challenge Also inspired from Youtube and my mom’s recent obsession with the channel/hot sauce.
  1. Rent an igloo at the Bobby Hotel this winter All the cool kids have done it. I am now cool.
  1. Go on a ghost tour I’ve just never done this and it seems like a fun thing to do in October. 
  1. Eat at Yolan This restaurant has a Michelin-starred chef serving up Italian food in Nashville so I cannot think of a more dreamy dining experience. I asked my parents for a night out to eat for my birthday so this is actually going to happen!!
  1. Watch Rotten Tomato top movies of all time Just going to hit the top ten then see where things go.
  1. Stop weighing myself every day I was better about this for a while, but lately I’ve been back on the daily-weigh-in train and letting the numbers decide how confident I feel for the day. That’s BS. BYE!
  1. Finally finish Divine Mercy in my Soul I’ve started this book a thousand times since high school and can’t manage to get all the way through it. It’s so long! But since I briefly considered adding Anna Karenina to this to-do list, I felt like Mercy would be more wholesome.

And there you have it! Onward and upward, friends. Looking forward to seeing where this goes!

hello it’s me

long time to see

Hihihihihi!

It’s been a minute since I’ve put anything up here! If you’re a human being in the world, you already know that the pandemic has put a damper on most of everything. Like a stifling wet wool blanket, but less cozy. You get it. Thankfully, there were a few other things that got in the way of blogging that were actually good:

  1. I had a really lovely and creatively satisfying semester at school that got most of my write-y attention. 
  2. I was taking a stab at the real estate thing. I liked the way it worked around the writing and the potential for financial growth, but the struggle was real. Not my market and not my jam. I said goodbye to my short lived real estate career early in the summer. Hello and goodbye. Aloha, if you will. 
  3. I had an internship writing professional bloggies. Picked up some new keywords like AI and HR and DE&I. Twas fun.

And now I’m here! Still nursing part time and writing in the other times. Nursing is tiring as hell and a lot of us are struggling BUT here is the real news:

  1. Im turning 29 next week. (P.S. When I first wrote this I accidentally wrote 24 and cringed a little bit—you couldn’t pay me to be 24 all over again. Shudder.)
  2. I archived a lot of my old posts. Sorry if you wanted to poke around there a bit, but feel free to DM me if you need to read about heartbreak/divorce/trauma/recovery/etc. It’s still a part of my story, and very much still haunts me once in a while (as much as I wish it wouldn’t) but I’m just leaning towards a little more privacy in that chapter right now. Sometimes I feel a tiny bit badly for how open I was and the people I might have pissed off/made uncomfortable. Sometimes I don’t. Mainly I try to have compassion for the hurting girl who wrote some things to make it hurt less. Either way, I’m ready to shift the focus a bit.

So. Shifted focus:

Twenty nine. The last year of the most ridiculous decade. There was graduation, a marriage, a divorce, a few different states, a few stabs at new careers. Two graduate programs (one that I quit), three dogs, eight houses, and about a million hours in therapy. How to close this chapter? 

I didn’t want to spend the year sulking about the things I won’t have by the time I’m thirtyyou know, the things that the world measures success by: spouse/partner, property, financial stability, satisfying career, a group of friends to meet for brunch every Sunday. I’m choosing to celebrate what I do havean income, a solid family, friends across the country who love me from afar. A killer roomie, a silly dog, a bed to sleep in. My health. 

And, adult-y “success” or no, I’m going to get SOME things accomplished this year. And they’re going to be COOL things. Things that make me smarter, freer, healthier, happier, and more grateful than before. I’ve got a list of thirty and some backups (just in case, because, you know, COVID). 

Stick around to see 😉